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I wanted to share with you all my experiences from finding out I was pregnant, how I felt, what I went through all the way through to labour and those precious moments after.

FINDING OUT I”M PREGNANT……….

So it all started in September 2017 when I just knew I was pregnant before I even did the test, I can’t explain what it was I just felt it.  I wanted to do a test straight away but knowing my body it doesn’t like to show I’m pregnant on tests, so I waited about another 2 weeks and guess what that faint pregnancy line showed up! Even though I knew and had prepared myself I was still in shock as I couldn’t quite believe I was . Already being a single mum to the most gorgeous 10 year old boy I knew how hard it is to raise a child and being 10 years later I was apprehensive about it, could I do it, but I knew I could as a brother or sister for my boy and me, was all we wanted. 

1st Scan 31st October 2017

I remember going for my first scan with my mum, I was so nervous as just wanted everything to be ok with my little hammy. Sitting waiting for my name to be called out seemed to take forever but when I heard them shout me and got so excited that I was going to see my little one for the first time, with my best friend, my mum. When I saw her moving about I couldn’t take my eyes off her and it made this so real. She was perfect in every way. So I printed off my photo and couldn’t stop laughing as my little munchkin had definitely put her Halloween mask on. Just like her mummy loves dressing up….lol

So They dated that my little monster was going to be due on May 4th 2018 (or Star Wars Day as so many people told me…) So now the count down was on to meet my Princess Leia.

“Pregnancy is the best reason for feeling like Crap,,,,”

The Next Few Months….

So the next few months were hard. Being older I could really tell the difference between both pregnancy’s. With Oliver I was sick every day for the full 9 months, but I just got on with it and carried on with life. However this one drained the life out of me, I was constantly exhausted to the point I could fall asleep where I stood, lol. I felt nauseous all day but nothing gave me relief, all I wanted was to be sick but I couldn’t. My back was in Agony constantly and to top it off I got sciatica and PDP (pelvic girdle pain) so got referred for physio and hydro therapy to ease the pain. This helped while in the pool but was only temporary but just learnt to get on but it made everyday so hard.

My hormones were all over the place one minute I was laughing and joking the next I had turned into some psychotic maniac who just wanted to shout and scream, then I would be in floods of tears on the floor. I could feel myself going but couldn’t control it, I could feel the anger bubbling up and then the tears. It was so hard to see the ones closest to me getting punished for something I couldn’t control, especially Oliver as I would loose my temper with him over the silliest things and then would feel so guilty after for shouting at him. I felt like the worst mum at times.

This is a side of my pregnancy I hated but I realise now its ok not to be ok. I just wish I had spoke with my midwife about it instead of bottling up all my feelings. That’s what they are there for after all, and I now know many women, mothers to be go through similar feelings.

So my pregnancy was hard but I wouldn’t change it for the world as the end result was my amazingly beautiful clever little girl. All I wish is I had taken the help and support I had around me.

4th May – DUE DATE

Pre-Labour….

So labour was an interesting one for me as although I had been through pregnancy before I had never been through Labour as Oliver was an Elective C-section for numerous reasons. So this was the first time, so I didn’t know what to expect. The closer it got to the 4th May the more excited I got, there were not any nerves or worries maybe this was me in denial I don’t know I just couldn’t wait to experience child birth and meet my baby girl.

So the 4th May arrived, as I mentioned this is Star Wars Day (I’m not a Star Wars Fan) and my friends and family really wanted her to come on this day, so much so that I said I would call her something star wars to appease them all….lol Thankfully she didn’t as I can’t imaging shouting Chewbacca, dinners ready…lol

Anyway back to how it all started so it must of been the 5th and I started getting contractions, very mild and not regular so just got on with it, I did however feel more sick. I just took note but carried on with daily life. These pains came and went for the next 24 hours, and I started to feel more uncomfortable as the pressure on my groin was immense I was struggling to walk. I seriously looked like John Wayne…lol The main worry however was I hadn’t felt any movement for a couple of days, so I just shut this off as I knew she was fine, however my mum told me I had to call the hospital and they advised to come in for monitoring. So I went in the monitored me but because of the pain and I felt my waters were leaking slightly they decided to keep me in for monitoring overnight. So they kept me in but nothing changed, the pains kept coming but I was only 1cm dilated, so they gave me a sweep and sent me home.

The Sweep was horrible as I’m sure you know ladies, not the most pleasant experience. So my mum took me home and the cramps got a little more painful but nothing I couldn’t cope with. So I sat on my ball trying to encourage this little madam to come out. So we are now on the 7th and again this went on for another 24 hours or so, but now I was starting to be sick every few hours, the pains were stronger, I lost what I can only say was part of my plug. I couldn’t sit down as felt she was pressing on something internally and it hurt like mad, the contractions still were not constant about every 10-13 minutes. So again my mum convinced me to call the hospital and again they told me to come in and again I was admitted. However something changed overnight as I couldn’t stop being sick, couldn’t keep anything down not even water. I was exhausted. I told the nurses and doctors but they didn’t listen and sent me home the following day at lunchtime by this point the contractions were about every 10 minutes or so.

So now its the 9th May and I was home and felt terrible, I couldn’t concentrate for lack of energy, I was still throwing up but had nothing left so it was just bile and this was making me feel worse. Then the contractions jumped to every 6 minutes, so I decided to have a bath hoping this would make me feel better. The bath was great while I was in it, but could I get out I was like a beached whale…lol So my mum came to my rescue not the most pretty sight for her… As soon as I got out the pains just intensified and the contractions started to be about every 5 minutes, my mum was panicking at this point and wanted to take me in but me being me was like no plenty of time. I didn’t want to go in and then be sent home, so I laid in bed, tried to sleep but felt so ill I couldn’t. My mum says I was delirious and wasn’t making sense. ( I now know this was because I was severely dehydrated) So I gave in and called the hospital and spoke with the midwife to which I had 3 contractions as they were now coming every 4 minutes so was told to get myself into hospital.

So went to the pre assessment ward and they looked me over, gave me an internal I was still only 2cm dilated they were going to send me home but because I was throwing up constantly and how poorly I was they got me a bed on the Labour Ward. Finally it was time!!!!

LABOUR!!!

So its the 9th May 2018, around 7pm and I get a bed on the labour ward. I walk in still feeling so poorly and needing to throw up again, suddenly 2 cardboard bowls appear in front of me. I’m guessing they didn’t want to clean it up lol.

Anyway I get in the 2 midwives introduce themselves to me, but I was so out of it I still can’t remember their names, which is so bad as they were amazing. They check me over give me an injection to try and stop the sickness and get me hooked up to the monitor and get me on a drip as they need to get me dehydrated. Within about 30 mins of having the drip I start to feel better the sickness is still there but not as bad so things are looking up. I now start thinking I’m going to be able to do this, get through this and deliver her naturally but I need some pain relief as the contractions are every 4 minutes and they hurt. So I get the gas and air and I loved it, amazing stuff and couldn’t recommend it enough.

So over the next few hours they keep checking on me and finally around 2am I think it was I’m officially in labour, Im 4cm dilated. So happy, I now feel Im on the way to seeing my baby girl.

By this point though I’m so tired, I just want sleep but the contractions hurt so I ask for an epidural. the midwives try and convince me not to but I knew myself that I wouldn’t get through it without it and not because of the pain but just because I was so tired as I hadn’t really slept for 4 days. So they arrange it and the anaesthetist comes in about an hour later and hooks me up, tells me to hit the button to get the drugs, LOL So I feel happier relaxed, the pain just melts away and I manage to get a nap. I wake up and feel so much better and ready to do this. I get another anti-sickness jab, and another bag of fluids for the dehydration and the contractions stay at about 3-4 mins apart but definitely getting stronger.

7am comes and its the end of the shift for my midwives and baby not here, not happy as Im now 7cm dilated. So meet my new midwives and again they are wonderful and get me through these final hours.

I’m sat there and either my mum or the midwives are having to remind me to press the button for the epidural, I just kept forgetting as the pain was painful but not terrible, I was actually now finally enjoying it and the gas and air was amazing.

So around 8:30am the checked me over and guess what I’m 10cm, all I can think is get her out I want to meet her, the contractions now were painful but I was still forgetting to press the button. I thought now they would make me push but no they said she was still quite high so they would leave for an hour or so and wait for to come down naturally. That was the longest hour as I just wanted to get on with it. I’m not very patient lol

The contractions were getting stronger and stronger and I just wanted to push so about 9:45 they said its time, but first the midwife asked is it ok for a medical student to come in and watch, at that point I didn’t care who saw my bits so just said yes. 10am I started pushing and pushing and pushing…

“Labour is Called Labour for a Reason, It’s Hard…”

I remember the midwife getting the junior midwife to get involved, she was shouting at the medical student to look, telling my mum to look and all I could think was my mum is at the wrong end…lol My midwife was so excited and animated it actually in a weird way took my mind off the pain. Then between contractions as still had nearly 4 minutes which was great for a breather and a sip f water, the medical student asked if his colleague could come in, all I remember as a contraction was coming was sure but I’m charging for tickets at £10 each, so invite anyone but I want the money…lol Unfortunately she had gone into another delivery so never did get any money…..lol

Anyway back to Labour and lots more pushing at 10:25am my gorgeous little girl was born. When they passed her over and put her skin to skin everything else in the room disappeared. I couldn’t stop looking at her and thinking I created her a beautiful, gorgeous, perfect little girl. I was holding her, feeling her gorgeous little body on mine, hearing her breathing I couldn’t quite believe it. It was a magical moment.

So our story doesn’t end here, this was just the beginning for my little family of 3. Things did turn a little later on but that is for another day as I want to end this on a magical, happy note and celebrate my perfect little bundle of joy.

Kayley-Rose Joanna Hayward was born on 10th May 2018 at 10:25am weighing 7lb11oz, It was the most beautiful and perfect end to 9 months of hard work but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I WAS THE HAPPIEST MUM IN THE WORLD.

I hope you have enjoyed my story, can relate to it, take something from it, understand it or just love it. This was my journey to being a mum of 2 beautiful children.

Thank You for taking the time to read my story xxx